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Joke of the Day

"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation."

"I asked a pregnant woman what cup size she was. She said 500ml."

"A Scotsman walks out of a bar. ..."

"Never know what to say at funerals. ""Sorry I ran over him"" just feels so hollow."

"My science teacher said he was going to show me his transistor. Imagine my surprise when a girl with a penis appeared."

"My local newspaper was holding a contest... For the best puns last week so I submitted ten, sure that at least one would win a prize, but no pun in ten did."

"Why do hippies wear pachouli?? So blind people can hate them to"

"When geese fly in a ""V"" formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side."