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Joke of the Day

"DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu."

"I tested positive for optimism."

"Who is the biggest prostitute alive? Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents she'll swallow balls until she dies."

"I'm an 8 day old fetus And I believe music from the olden days is better than today's shit."

"Why couldn't the computer play golf?... ...Because it had the wrong Driver"

"You don't have to study for a pregnancy test... but I have heard there's a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam."

"One of my nipples is a different color from the other two. Is this normal?"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"A great pun... is its own reword."