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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a magic owel? Hoo-Dini!"

"Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, ""Are you worried about mad cow disease?"" ""Not at all,"" says the other, ""I'm a helicopter."""

"My boyfriend cheated on me So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home"

"Wife. ""Did you cut the grass?"" Me. ""Yep"" Wife. ""But it doesn't look any different!"" Me. ""I know, we had a lot of rain while you were out"""

"Sure, I'd get married. But follow him on Twitter? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."

"[internet] if u liked this story on cows dressed as plumbers.. [me] I did [i] here's a story on panda cops [barely containing my glee] go on"

"A priest, a child molester, and an alcoholic, walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy."

"A West Virginia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-79. The trooper asked, ""Got any ID?"" The driver replied, "" 'Bout whut?"""

"Moves shopping cart to allow car to park Lady doesn't even say thanks Puts cart back behind her car Leaves."

"The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try."