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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend cheated on me So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home"

"[Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music! His newest album is titled, ""I'll Be Bach."""

"What do you call toddlers who are dictators? Dictator Tots"

"They say Ronda Rousey isn't much of a wrestler... But you'll be amazed when you see her box."

"What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan? Not being from Detroit."

"When i apply to the job... Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death."

"I'm gonna start a woman's monthly magazine called ""Period"", and some months I will send it out late to freak out subscribers"

"What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common? Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout ""JESUS CHRIST!"""

"Where in New York City do lesbians most like to live? Manhatin'"