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Joke of the Day

"Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, ""Are you worried about mad cow disease?"" ""Not at all,"" says the other, ""I'm a helicopter."""

"Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not."

"Today I brought a computer back from the dead. I've decided that this makes me a techromancer."

"Today in 1775, Jane Austen was born. She wrote ""Sense & Sensibility,"" ""Pride & Prejudice,"" and ""Lust & Lunchables."""

"I like my weekdays like Marx likes his societies. Classless."

"Australian joke I just heard An Australian kiss is like a French kiss only it's... down under."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"Women are like roaches Very hard to approach, but make a satisfying crunch when you smash them. Wait what"

"TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in"

"In a lesbian relationship who makes the sandwich? Neither. They both eat out!"