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Joke of the Day

"A man with pica walks into a bar... ...and orders a drink on rocks. Hahahaha! Smart people jokes are the best!"

"On average, a single male has sex 89 times a year. Tomorrow is going to be really awesome for me!"

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck... Bar tender looks at him and says, ""I guess I'll let you hang out but you better not start anything."""

"Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk? Because they lactose."

"Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about."

"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother."

"My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped."

"I, for one... like Roman numerals."

"ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit"