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Joke of the Day

"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."

"Everclear songs are really easy to play on guitar It's because their dad's weren't around to give them music lessons."

"LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight. The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone. Tried, tested, true"

"BIGAMY Q: What's the downside to bigamy? A: More than one mother-in-law."

"[Offensive] what did the Native Indian girl say while she was having sex? You're crushing my smokes dad."

"The FAA is reviewing the new Boeing Dreamliner... it might get thrown under the airbus."

"10 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date,. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"""Two parents that will never give you their love and approval!"" -sad Buzzfeed post"

"What did the really dumb guy name his pet giraffe? Spot."

"A man gets into an accident in which both his ring fingers are cut off. Needless to say, his wife was shocked."