30953

Joke of the Day

"Little Jack Warner Sat in the corner A finger in every pie. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a bung And said ""Lets all go to Dubai!"""

"haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho"

"Hot Topic was having a huge sale Everyone panicked at the discount."

"[ phone call ] Wife: You want the white 7"" or the black 9"". Me: The black 9"". ..and if she wasn't tablet shopping this would be awkward."

"If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation."

"I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person."

"Daffy-nition for indefinitely... .... ... Indefinitely (adv.) In def in it lee .... .... .... When your balls are slapping up against her ass you're in definitely!"

"What's the difference between my grandma and a baby? My grandma doesn't die when I fuck her."

"Shout out to my sweatpants for loving me through thick and thicker."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."