29875

Joke of the Day

"[ phone call ] Wife: You want the white 7"" or the black 9"". Me: The black 9"". ..and if she wasn't tablet shopping this would be awkward."

"I used to wonder... ...why golf tournaments aren't called Stroke-Offs Then I turned 12."

"One man's girlfriend is another man's Twitter password."

"Jim is a butcher. Has a sister named Delores. He stands 6ft tall and wears a 10 gallon hat. What does he weigh? Meat hes a butcher."

"What sex position produces the ugliest offspring? I don't know go ask your mom."

"What terrorist group have the most cold blooded killers. ICES ASSASINS... (isis pun).."

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land"

"61% of internet traffic is from bots... ...the other 39% is Reddit users manically hitting refresh to check their upvotes on new posts"

"What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon?"

"My computer is a nympho at night Because any little touch turns it on"