213475

Joke of the Day

"Daffy-nition for indefinitely... .... ... Indefinitely (adv.) In def in it lee .... .... .... When your balls are slapping up against her ass you're in definitely!"

"Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"I think having an abortion really brings out the kid in me"

"Last night I got a handjob from a blind girl She said, ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said, ""nah, you're just pulling my leg."""

"I'm pretty excited about my new band When I asked the record exec whether he thought our song would be popular, he told me it would be off the charts!"

"Girl do you play basketball? Because I hear you can make Magic with my Johnson."

"I met this really hot Geologist today. She had quite a Gneiss ass."

"Why did the hippie lifeguard not save the drowning boy? He was too far out man!!"

"I got 99 problems and the bitch heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100."