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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"I thought about logging into Myspace, but the Delorean is in the shop."

"Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it."

"TIL that Harriet Tubman sought a monthly pension of $25 a month for services in the civil war ,but was only awarded $20. 100+ years later we're still only giving her a $20."

"A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown...... A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and replies, ""What.......is this some kind of Joke?"""

"How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"REP: we are pleased to provide u with the highest level of customer service! ME: oh sorry, got the wrong number. was tryin to call comcast"

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important."

"Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math."