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Joke of the Day
"Shout out to my sweatpants for loving me through thick and thicker."
Next Joke
"What is your funniest joke about the French? Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits."
"What's white and in the men's 100m track final? The lines."
"Do you know any sodium jokes? Na."
"There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence."
"There's a gap in my knowledge of clothing retailers"
"Don't expect a ""bless you"" after the 4th sneeze...get your shit together."
"Why do the Vietnamese never eat fruits? Because they had a bad experience with oranges."
"How do you kill a hippie? Tape a hula hoop to the bottom of a pool"
"Play Mambo No. 5 at my funeral even if you have to fight my family"