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Joke of the Day

"If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation."

"Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior."

"""What are you reading?"" Great Expectations. ""Is it any good?"" It's not all I hoped for."

"Pizza places, we don't want cheesy bread. Pizza is cheesy bread."

"ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet"

"What do you call a black person that cant sing? A rapper"

"I painted my computer black... thinking it would run faster but it just stopped working"

"*throws up gang signs* *never eats gang signs again*"

"You heard the rumour going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."

"What is Donald Trump's least favorite Candy? Jelly Beaners"