29753

Joke of the Day

"When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming."

"QUEM TEM CHEFE E INDIO NHOQUE EP 1 (trilha sonora para youtube) Aprenda nada sobre cozinha"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Mittens. Just joking, im not sure what he got, hasn't opened his gift yet"

"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn't think you could read."

"LPT: If a non-Redditor sends you a funny pic/video on Facebook, don't tell them you already saw it last week on Reddit. You don't want them to finally realize you're a neckbeard."

"Currently working on an app for lonely people called ""Words With Cats""."

"[In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth...] EARTH: yo GOD: what? EARTH: send nudes GOD: *creates Adam & Eve* EARTH: nice"

"Why was the web server down? Mary Jane dumped him."

"My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot."

"What's the difference between kinky and perverted ? Kinky you use a feather; perverted you use the whole chicken !"