2973

Joke of the Day

"Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring"

"Did you hear about the midget that got arrested for masturbating in public? They say that he had a short cumming!"

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"By Putting the Punchline in the Title How do you screw up a joke?"

"My love for you is like a candle. If you forget about me, I will burn your fucking house down"

"I submitted 10 wordplays to a pun contest hoping one would win best quip... But no pun in ten did."

"Hilary Clinton is elected president ... FTFY"

"Hot Air Balloons are like Marijuana... The more you blaze it, the higher you become."

"I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don't have to save for retirement..."

"Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this."