193220

Joke of the Day

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven? They were too GUI."

"Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three Blind Mice!"

"Me: This painting really speaks to me. Mona Lisa: You do way too many drugs."

"Today I met a woman with twelve breasts, sounds strange, dozen tit?"

"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"

"What do you call a fat Chinese man? A chunk."

"Hitler's proofreader for Mein Kampf was literally a Grammar Nazi."

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."