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Joke of the Day
"Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this."
Next Joke
"So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply because the wrong person will often say all the right things."
"[Last Supper] Jesus:""We need 13 chairs please"" Judas:""But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"" Jesus:""AD?"""
"The Pink Panther's To Do List To do...To do...To do, to do, to do...To do, to doooo... Saw this on The Doghouse Diaries today and it made me laugh... Edit: Formatting"
"Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."
"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."
"what do you call a bus full of white people a twinkie"
"About to go for a run, because shoplifting"
"I Can see the future, Donald Trump wins the election This post made with **Internet Explorer**"
"How many SCPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [DATA EXPUNGED]"