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Joke of the Day

"It's official... My voice is incapable of making, ""Thanks. I appreciate that"" not sound sarcastic."

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"Owning a sword is like being a horny priest... Owning a sword is like being a horny priest, even though you want to, you can never use it without breaking the law."
"The Fortune Teller, came true! I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?"
"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? I'm I'm who? Hi Who, I'm Daniel"
"My Muslim wife left me the other day.... I guess she didn't know what Jihad."
"GOT MY MIND ON MY MONEY AND MY MONEY ON.. mmy mind.? but thats on my money, my money cant b on it, [concertgoers start whispering nervously]"
"New day, same old bullshit."
"Have you heard the story when the idiot said no?"
"A banker, a Greek and a German sit on a table ... There are ten cookies on that table. The banker takes nine and tells the German: ""Watch out, the Greek so going to steal your cookie!"""
"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't."