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Joke of the Day

"A banker, a Greek and a German sit on a table ... There are ten cookies on that table. The banker takes nine and tells the German: ""Watch out, the Greek so going to steal your cookie!"""

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"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."
"My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger."
"My Friend Has A Dyslexic Skin Condition My friend has a dyslexic skin condition. He wears his blood on his sleeve."
"I was sitting on a bus in Thailand across from a beautiful young lady. My shorts were a little tight and I was thinking, don't get a boner, don't get a boner... But she did."
"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."
"A philosopher asked, ""what's worse, ignorance or apathy?"" The pupil replied, "" I don't know, and I don't care!"""
"A horse walks into a Police Station. Not a joke it actually happened http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834 I would welcome a few jokes based upon this though."
"Immigrants after Trump's election be like... [removed]"
"I hate having closure, it's really"