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Joke of the Day

"GOT MY MIND ON MY MONEY AND MY MONEY ON.. mmy mind.? but thats on my money, my money cant b on it, [concertgoers start whispering nervously]"

"Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's cock."

"Want to know a 100% effective form of birth control? Abortion 0_o"

"If I contract a disease any time soon I want it to be scurvy or the plague because I'm a history buff."

"I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend... I thought it'd lighten Mahmood."

"My 3-year-old referred to her granola bar as a, ""NOLA bar"" and now she's wearing Mardi Gras beads and asking me to make jambalaya."

"Did you hear about the porno at the campground? It was fucking in tents."

"Im absolutely exhausted, would you believe I have spent all week road testing penny farthings..... My feet haven't touched the ground."

"Without depression what would white people do for a personality"

"After 12 years in prison ..... After 12 years in prison, a man finally breaks out. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, ""Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!"""