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Joke of the Day

"[3 AM] 5yo: *sobbing* Daddy Me: Ughhh..yes, sweetheart, what's wrong? 5yo: I'm lonely... Me: Then, don't ever get married. 5yo: Ok, Daddy."

"""So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another"" -How I Met Your Stepmother"

"What do you call five black guys having sex? A threesome 3/5ths compromise"

"I thought of this one in history class today The thing about communist jokes is that everyone has to get them."

"Aliens: take me to your leader Me: Hey babe, is it okay if we have company?"

"My wife said to me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me? I said: ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you"

"Son , I am not able to go to school today Son: I am not able to go to school today. Father: what happened? Son: I am not feeling well Father: Where you are not feeling well? Son: In school!"

"What do you call an Arabic rapper? Vanilla Isis"

"What's the easiest way to get a little head? The Zika virus."

"I thought I saw a new color today but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination."