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Joke of the Day

"What do you call five black guys having sex? A threesome 3/5ths compromise"

"On this occasion of Chinese New Year I would like to ask all my Chinese friends. Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with... How the f**k did two sticks win?"

"What is a dog covered in poo called? A SHIT-szu. I thought of this due to the fact that my Shitszu came inside covered in mud."

"What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can't tuna fish!!!"

"My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, ""Because of those fucking decepticons!"" I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."

"According to museum portraits, everyone in the 18th century looked like a giant chubby baby."

"My cousin had his hand amputated in a tragic accident. Luckily, he was able to find a replacement at a second hand store."

"Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel."

"Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye? He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)"

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Hello ladies."