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Joke of the Day

"Aliens: take me to your leader Me: Hey babe, is it okay if we have company?"

"Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much."

"Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow? She didn't want six inches of snow all year long."

"Osama Bn Laden Jokes in the title."

"The mother of all Dad jokes. Dad: *Picks up caterpillar* I'll name him Hans! Person: ""Why?"" Dad: ""Because he's got lots of Hans!"""

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"When you have sex you burn 1000 calories. No wonder you're so fat."

"I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend."

"Where did little Lisa go after she got hit by a truck? Everywhere."

"Roses are black... ...Violets are black, Everything is black, I'm Ray Charles."