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Joke of the Day

"A fun dream I have is to stand in the middle of Comic-Con, yell ""What's so cool about Star Wars anyway?"", then jetpack through the ceiling."

"My friend Dave told me this joke about Hillary Clinton yesterday... I was just wondering if anyone here has heard from him?"

"What did George Washington say to his men on March 3rd Tomorrow we march forth"

"Life is like a dick pic... Sometimes you get things you don't ask for."

"I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list."

"Mummies might be scarier if they weren't called mummies. Brits call their Moms that. Suggestion: Psycho Rotting Corpse Wrapped In Gauze."

"What do you call a flying jew? Ash"

"Drinking Remember, it isn't drinking alone when you're pregnant."

"""So we kill a tree"" Ok ""And put it inside our house"" Nice ""Then we hang up some socks"" I'm with ya ""And then we drink egg milk punch"" What"

"A big thank you to whoever spraypainted ""KARATE"" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now."