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Joke of the Day

"My friend Dave told me this joke about Hillary Clinton yesterday... I was just wondering if anyone here has heard from him?"

"When the cashier asks me ""Is that everything?"", I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her."

"I sold my vacuum cleaner today.. It was only collecting dust."

"Q: What connects the computers in Sauron's office? A: A Tolkien Ring network."

"I knew my fantasies were getting worse But when I spanked a statue I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."

"What do you call a Tolkien creature who studies insects? An *Ent*omologist"

"Why did Jesus die ? He forgot his safe word."

"What do you call an Indian man who fought for years for peace that then transitioned into a woman? Mahatma Gone-D"

"How did the turtle call his friends? ...on his shellphone"