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Joke of the Day

"A big thank you to whoever spraypainted ""KARATE"" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now."

"It's too bad u can't safely fill babies with helium. How cute would that be to look up and see hundreds of floating, chubby, happy, babies."

"Not to brag but both my kids are from the same dad"

"Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody."

"Why does black lives matter affect the postal service? They have white mail privilege."

"My son asked me what it is like to be married.. So I deleted all the music on his ipod except for 1 song."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway. (might of already been posted)"

"Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving."

"Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the whole place, But it's their fault for not having windows."

"Did you hear about the man that lost half of his body? He's all right now."