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Joke of the Day

"Mummies might be scarier if they weren't called mummies. Brits call their Moms that. Suggestion: Psycho Rotting Corpse Wrapped In Gauze."

"At The Olympics At the Olympics, a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German. How did you know my name is Walter?"""

"Never trust an atom They make up everything."

"How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, ""You're lookin' BIG, man!"""

"Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream."

"Did you hear of the guy who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? He just could not explain it! Then it dawned on him."

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"What do you call a skinny feminist... Photoshopped"

"I ran into my ex today. Long story short, my car is totaled."

"What do giants and strippers have in common? They both grind on bones to make their bread."