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Joke of the Day
"If I haven't said something mildly offensive today I'm sorry and I promise to try harder"
Next Joke
"I can't wear preppy clothes... I'm Lacoste Intolerant."
"If straight people use Tinder, what do Germans use? Hitler"
"What's the opposite of a Hasidic Jew? A Hbasic one."
"What do you call a man with a penis in the middle of his face? Fuck nose."
"Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle"
"TECH TIP: to prolong your iPhone's battery life, keep it surrounded by a small Druidic altar of oak leaves and blanched chicken bones #tech"
"Sexxist much? Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? A: give her a shovel."
"Why no, stranger, I CAN'T believe how early it gets dark now despite the fact this phenomena has occurred every single year of my existence."
"OMG... JUST OPENED A CUPBOARD AND ALL MY POSTAGE STAMPS ARE PREGNA- Oh wait, it's Ravioli."