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Joke of the Day

"After many years, I have decided I no longer care where Waldo is because we do not have any sort of reciprocal relationship."

"interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]"

"What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt was able to finish a race."

"An Airport goes to the Dr... And the Dr says, ""i have bad news. You have cancer."" The airport replies, ""oh no, what kind?"" ""Terminal."""

"Only redditors would get this [deleted]"

"[day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that"

"The US Judicial system"

"I found out I was dyslexic when I got invited to a toga party. I turned up as a goat."

"How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie? Whoever wins...we lose."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop & a lobster with breast implants.. One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."