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Joke of the Day

"After many years, I have decided I no longer care where Waldo is because we do not have any sort of reciprocal relationship."

"Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that's where I hang them."

"Whatever, Twitter makes me a safer driver. Now I stop at every red light, even the lights that I think may change in the next minute or two."

"Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her."

"What vegetable parties the hardest? A Turnip."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burns ! Burns who ? Burns me up !"

"Q: When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go."

"Did you read the article about corduroy pillowcases? ... They're making headlines."

"What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor? 21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH *thump* 1st floor goes: *thump* AHHHHHHHHHH"

"What is the hardest part about puberty? (NSFW) My penis."