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Joke of the Day

"Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle"

"When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs."

"Why wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left."

"My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???"

"What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"On phone: GF: We're breaking up... Me: I can hear you fine! GF: It's not you, it's me... Me: Did you get a new provider? GF: Kinda... Bye!"

"Why are all blond jokes 1 liners... So men can understand them too!"

"Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, ""Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."""

"What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut."

"Yo momma so fat, when she sits around the house ... ... she sits around the house."