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Joke of the Day
"Unknown person parked their car in my driveway, now it's my car. That's how that works, right?"
Next Joke
"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."
"The instructions for this tent is just a picture of a husband yelling at his wife, that's weird."
"I bet the frankincense guy was all like, ""Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."""
"Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure."
"Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!"
"I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, ""Proud parent of your wife's kid."""
"If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food."
"A banker tells his client that a 1,000,000 investment will turn into a ton of money! So the the client asks ""How much is a ton of money"" The banker responds ""Two Thousand Pounds"""
"The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat"