202015

Joke of the Day

"A banker tells his client that a 1,000,000 investment will turn into a ton of money! So the the client asks ""How much is a ton of money"" The banker responds ""Two Thousand Pounds"""

"If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks."

"Instead of the Maternity Ward they should have called it the New Releases section."

"How do men and women fill the fuel tank differently? Men jiggle the nozzle afterwards."

"I'm not a Drug Dealer Weed is not a Drug. it is a Plant. Therefore I am not a drug dealer, i am a Florist!"

"What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys."

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"Sometimes I miss having an appendix.. [removed]"

"[at a loud bar] HIM: [yelling] DO U HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER THIS? HER: [also yelling] YES I DO ACTUALLY HAVE PLANTS THAT I KISS"

"Why does Yasuo never get locked out? Because he always ""hasaki!"""