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Joke of the Day

"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months"

"""Johnny the sky is the limit."" Thus, Johnny's dreams of becoming an astronaut were ruined."

"WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats"

"What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made? A nut for a jar of tuna."

"A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer... The officer asks him, ""Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"" The man replies, ""No, sir, it's against the wall."""

"Why do cannibals never go hungry? Because they can make themselves dinner."

"Why did the chicken go around the world? Because his name was Marco Pollo.."

"If by ""chivalry is dead"" you mean ""I put my coat in a puddle for my wife so she's making me do laundry for a week"" then yes chivalry is dead"

"Apparently 1 in 3 households live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I live next to two smoking hot 7 year olds."