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Joke of the Day

"Start your presentation with a joke My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. I attached payslip on the first slide..."

"Here's a tip for when you're feeling shit. Wear gloves"

"Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron"

"What's the opposite of Adele? Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)"

"There are three types of people in the world Those who can count, and those who can't"

"I painted my computer black now it doesn't work I painted it white to make it work again now the whole system is corrupt - daddypig-ncsu"

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!"

"About women... There's only 1 word beginning with B you should ever call a woman, and that's ""beautiful"" - bitches fucking love being called beautiful."

"*at interview* Him: What would you say are your strengths? Me: Words Him: Can you say more? Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions"

"The fastest way to convert from centimeters to meters... Just remove the first 5 letters."