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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron"

"The doctor said to the patient We had to remove a part of your anus Patient- will I be any different? Doctor-Just less of an asshole Edit 1- Changed rectum to anus, credit u/RigorMortis76"

"Kenny G. walks into an elevator... and says, ""Man, this place is HAPPENING!"""

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts. Cause a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."

"Its such a shame todays world is so politically correct, you cant even say Black Paint anymore, Instead you have to say ""Leeroy please paint the porch"""

"At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks This joke brought to you by my ten year old son"

"Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena."

"God: ""MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE."" Moses: ""New burning bush. Who dis?"""

"One liner I'd go gay but the taste of semen makes me gag."

"What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake? Bob"