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Joke of the Day

"Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: A chopped baby"

"What can you tell about a guy who's always masturbating? That he's the son of one Mr. and Mrs. Bating. Please don't kill me."

"What's the difference between an Iraqi middle school and a terrorist training camp? Fuck if I know, I just fly the drone."

"What's with these people on facebook who never particpate on your page at all, yet act all weird when you decline attending their stupid event?"

"SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE"

"Walmart pokes holes in the condoms to ensure customer retention."

"Roses are red... Valentine's Day is Crap! I don't have a girlfriend so FAP FAP FAP!"

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"There's a band called 1023MB They haven't had any Gigs yet..."