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Joke of the Day

"What can you tell about a guy who's always masturbating? That he's the son of one Mr. and Mrs. Bating. Please don't kill me."

"Important stuff. If an orange is called an orange, then how come lemon is not called yellow?"

"90s kids won't get this . . . Social Security benefits."

"Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate."

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss a brie. I cheddar the world and the feta cheese."

"What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor"

"Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco? Por flavor"

"I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, & my fingers...because I can always count on them."

"What did the double-amputee say when he stood up? ""I stand corrected."" -From /r/showerthoughts"

"Why did Medusa order pizza? Her boyfriend was stoned."