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Joke of the Day

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"How did the gay wizard dissappear? He went with a poof!"

"'I've never done this on a first date before' I say as I start vacuuming his place"

"Just because I don't post it everyday doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the things I have."

"Q: What do a clitoris an anniversary and a toilet have in common? A: Men usually miss all three."

"What do you call a wandering caveman? A meanderthal."

"I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation. Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already."

"It took America two days to create ""anti-WikiLeaks legislation"", yet, proper regulation of the financial sector, for example, is awol."

"The dark lord Saran has wrapped Middle Earth in 2-3 days of freshness."

"Some say the quickest way to mans heart is food. As an experienced heart surgeon, I disagree... It's sex."