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Joke of the Day

"First date: *puts entire onion ring in mouth* If yo'lik et ven yo'shoulla puh a wring owh it."

"What's the mating call of a sorority girl? O My GOd! I am so drunk."

"What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K."

"You know that you're not a child anymore when... you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch."

"so I saw an ad on ebay about a book on how to scam on ebay so i bought it.. It still hasn't arrived."

"How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb Ill let you know once they get back to me"

"First Jon Stewart retires, then Brian Williams gets suspended. What's happening to fake news?"

"What is a south Koreans favorite fruit? An impeach."

"In honor of women's day I would like to honestly say that...."" Life with out you ladies would literally be a pain in the ass"""

"As of today, I've been married to my best friend for 10 amazing years. Love you, sweetie! Is she gone? OMG, you guys, I'm being smothered."