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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking? Because it would be a party fowl."

"Don't forget to cut me off so you can be the first person to the red light."

"Jared gives a new meaning to ""Eat Fresh!"" How ""Fresh"" we talkin?"

"want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet."

"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."

"What car does Boba Fett drive? A ManDeLorean!"

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. *bows*"

"Two women were sitting quietly..."

"I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do."

"I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump.. because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens."