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Joke of the Day

"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."

"My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee. I just laughed and said, ""Two sugars, please."""

"What do you call an Irishman with a dangerous bacterial infection? A leperchaun! :D"

"Wife: I read my mom that funny tweet you wrote. Me: Don't you mean THOSE funny TWEETS? Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: No. No, I don't."

"What's the useless skin around a vagina called? A woman."

"I like my coffee how I like my women.... Ground up and in the freezer. Edit - happy Halloween!"

"A pirate walks into a bar... And sits down orders a drink without anybody making a pun about his nuts."

"I learned that Honey Bees in the United States developed a form of electronics - they're called U.S. Bees."

"And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars."

"It's nice that the french finally grew some balls... ...and shot down a German plane but unfortunately the war ended 70 years ago."