49171

Joke of the Day

"want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet."

"*shows up at ur door holding a bouquet of flowers with all the petals ripped off* hi, i brought u som flowers that told me u love me"

"Did you hear about the 7' NBA star who married a blonde midget? He was nuts over her."

"Chicken what do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce... Chicken sees a salad"

"A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?"" The parrot responded, saying, ""there are millions of them running around in Africa."""

"I like my presidents like I like my slaves Cautious and skeptical about ideas that start off with ""I ran"""

"I hate guitarists... They're so picky."

"What did the Dalai Llama play on stage at Glastonbury? Yakmanninov"

"A friend told me there's a place like twitter called ""outside"" where people favorite each other by making eye contact and smiling. Unfollow."

"""should i go into the arts?"" ""can you imagine yourself doing anything else?"" ""no"" ""then i wouldn't go into the arts, with no imagination"""