120224

Joke of the Day

"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."

"What did one Casket say to the other Casket? ""Is that you Coffin?"""

"*Gandalf rollerblades into the club* ""YO DJ PLAY SOME DIRTY DUBSTE-- *slips on a drink & lands flat on face* ""SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE"

"I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point. She turned around and found out I was walking her home."

"I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test"

"A farmer counted up all of his cows and found that he had 196 of them But when he rounded them up he had 200"

"Do you think it's ok to lie to a girl in order to sleep with her...? Because I feel really bad about lying to my mom like that"

"Why was Eric Clapton arrested? He was fingering A minor."

"My maths teacher told me to draw a square. Instead I drew a circle. He said ""That's terrible, go and stand in the corner!"" I said ""where's that?"" *- Tim Vine*"

"My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons."