120224

Joke of the Day

"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."

Next Joke
 
"I told my court-appointed therapist I just needed a little piece and quiet. She said, ""Necrophilia is a crime."""
"You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no."
"What do you call balls on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin? My throne"
"General Contractor: Don't worry ma'am, everything will be ready, we'll have the scaffolding set up and erected. Me: *mutes phone* hahahahaha"
"I was told not to say the word ""Hell"" and should say something else instead... So I said, ""How about H E double dildos."""
"Want to hear a bird joke? Oops i forgot it. *Hawkward*."
"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool."
"I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year. Roll on 2016."
"never trust quotes from the Internet ~Abraham Lincoln"
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