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Joke of the Day
"Don't forget to cut me off so you can be the first person to the red light."
Next Joke
"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"
"Se7en is a great movie even if you haven't seen o1e, 2wo, thr3e, 4our, 5ive or 6ix."
"How I met your mother was....... How I met your mother was.....nothing but a 9 year (season) long TED Talk"
"Why was Obama nervous when eating a T-bone aboard Air Force One? Because the steaks had never been higher."
"What do you call a red lemon? a Lenin. ;)"
"I'm a social vegan I avoid meet"
"I'm working on a script for a horror movie. It's called *my diary*"
"Why are you late? Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."
"The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things."