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Joke of the Day
"Most of my family has diarrhea it runs in our jeans"
Next Joke
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"
"How do you get a goth down from a tree? Cut the rope"
"Man, 2016 really has killed everybody: In November alone we lost Leonard Cohen, Florence Henderson... ...and America."
"Every morning is the dawn of a new error."
"Follow your dreams. Search through your dreams mail. Show up drunk on your dreams doorstep. Kidnap your dreams. Never let your dreams go."
"My Bakery Burned Down Last Night... Now my business is toast!"
"We could use Thor and his hammer to solve all our energy problems... I see the headlines already ""Earth powered by Generathor""."
"Oh baby, were not going to need a 'do not disturb' sign. We're going to need a 'please don't call the police were fine' sign."
"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."