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Joke of the Day

"Man, 2016 really has killed everybody: In November alone we lost Leonard Cohen, Florence Henderson... ...and America."

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"How do you starve a worthless mooch? By hiding his employment check in his work boots."
"Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea..."""
"The most embarrassing thing for a kangaroo is accidently hopping into another kangaroo's pouch who then hops into a 3rd kangaroo's pouch"
"*wakes from a dead sleep* SHOULDN'T RED BULL GIVE YOU HORNS?"
"""Sir, you cannot fish here!"" ""Don't worry, I'm just teaching my worm to swim."""
"Cyclists who don't obey the rules of the road should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."
"Why do girls make a ""shhhhh"" noise while peeing and men don't? 'Cos men have a 6 inch silencer."
"So i asked this girl to have phone sex with me.. She said she cant, because she has Virgin Mobile.."
"You're like cheese I laugh when I cut you! Edit: First post on Reddit? Why not start with a cheesy joke?"