165813
Joke of the Day
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"
Next Joke
"What do you call two couches that are in love with each other? Homosectionals."
"Why do men die before their wives? - They want to."
"College is just a clever marketing ploy by Starbucks and Red Bull"
"If the pensieve from Harry Potter could think... It would be thoughtful."
"Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!"
"What did the young witch say to her mother? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?"
"Patient: Doctor please kiss me! Doctor: I am sorry, I can't! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either."
"Why can't Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet."
"Next time you're swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it's a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun!"