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Joke of the Day

"Heard the local weatherman say, ""high in the thirties"" & now I know the title to my autobiography."

"I haven't been able to find my girlfriend for months, but I'll never forget the last thing she told me... She said ""I don't give blowjobs."" To be honest I haven't looked that hard."

"What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama bin Latte"

"Next OSX version announced!!! It will be called ""El Chapo"""

"Great Barrier Reef is 'almost dead', say scientists It is officially being downgraded to a ""Good Barrier Reef""."

"What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box? Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me."

"Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research."

"How did they come up with Canada's name? Well first they picked a C, eh. Then an N, eh. Then a D, eh."

"I went to a zoo the other day... All the exhibits were completely empty, except for one dog; it was a shihtzu"

"What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich? *Make me one with everything*"