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Joke of the Day

"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."

"Me: What do you think of my tweets? Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say? Wife: You're consistent."

"UFO conspirators believe theres been an invasion... ... They have reported an incredibly high amount of aliens at California DMV's."

"I think the best way to prevent a polar bear from raping you is to just say ""Yes!"""

"The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the hear the word FACIAL"

"Q. Why do men like love at first site? A. It saves them a lot of time."

"Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp"

"What did the terrorist say about his popular reddit post? *I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*"

"'What just cracked?' A guide to aging."

"How Russians win wars Rushing"