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Joke of the Day

"I haven't been able to find my girlfriend for months, but I'll never forget the last thing she told me... She said ""I don't give blowjobs."" To be honest I haven't looked that hard."

"Goats have it all figured out. All disputes should be settled with an aggressive series of headbutts."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"

"HOLY SHIT. THANK GOD TINA S. UPDATED HER FACEBOOK STATUS TO ""i hate studyyinggg"" OR ELSE WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN?! BIG NEWS, TINA! BIG NEWS."

"So we didn't get the first woman President, it's an even bigger step... ...the first developmentally disabled President!"

"Dirty Joke My sex life with my wife has started degrading. Guess it's time to Bury her corpse"

"I used to have a lot of sex... Then my VR headset broke."

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, ""How the hell did you get in here?"""

"Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?"

"What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning? Not Apple Jacks"